Mindful, creative living.

Thursday, 1 November 2018

A Lost Month - Longing









It’s almost a month since my last post, and what a month it has been.

I’ve been continuing my journey of mindful living, but life has thrown a few spanners in the works. I got my flu jab early last month but it did not stop me catching a horrible cold, which floored me for roughly 10 days. My pains have been playing me up too (they do get worse in the cold weather). And just when I thought the pain couldn’t get much worse, I took a tumble down the stairs.

I thought I had broken my foot, but an x-ray at the A & E proved there was no fracture. The pain, however, was, and still is, excruciating.  My foot and toes are swollen beyond recognition and are black with bruising. I can barely put weight on my foot and I have been likened to ‘Long John Silver’ as I hobble about the house.  

With all this going on, I have not had much time or enthusiasm do very much creatively. I have not drawn a single line or penned a solitary word. It’s extremely frustrating; there is nothing I can do, however, other than accept my present situation.

It’s not been all bad though. I’ve been reading a lot; a few novels but mostly books on the art of writing.  Prose is my ‘first love’. It is the thing I turn to when life gets too much or when I am struggling with pain. I can’t remember a time when I did not read.

My childhood was filled with books. I was ill a lot during my younger years. I had bad Asthma and was hospitalised with Pneumonia three times before I reached 11 years of age. I spent much of my time indoors. There was no internet, so books fuelled my imagination, and remain a constant source of inspiration.

I began writing several years ago and did have a modicum of success. I managed to get published in a number of magazines (see the publications tab at the top of the page), but when I was diagnosed with my current illness, I felt like all the life had been sucked out of me. I lost a lot of self-belief and self-esteem. I stopped writing because of this. Drawing has helped me recover some of that and I enjoy it immensely. But I miss writing.

Reading through my collection of writing books has increased my eagerness to start again. I’m a bit rusty and my hands get sore quickly when I type. There is a longing in me, however, which is pulling me back to the keyboard, back to my ‘first love’ and back to creating pictures with words.

I don’t think I will be able to resist the sweetness of its calling for much longer.


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6 comments:

  1. so sorry at what has befallen you. Nice to hear from you.

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    1. Hi, Christine. Thank you for commenting. Sorry for my absense, but stuff happens. Looking forward to getting back.

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  2. Hello John, I'm really sorry to read about what a tough time you've had of it lately.
    Do hope that things look up and you start to heal.
    You've a beautiful way with words and, yes, follow your yearnings.
    All the best, kindly, Sue :D)

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    1. Hi, Sue. Thank you so much. I do long to write again, and I am finding it hard to resist the urge.

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  3. Don't resist, just follow .... So sorry you had it so rough last month. I hope November will be better, and that the pains and aches will lessen. Wishing you strength and courage ♥

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  4. Hi, denthe. Thank you for your encouraging words. I won't resist. These days I tend to go with the flow.

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